Polonium, my arse!

Dear radioactive Scrubs,

Whats all this fuss about polonium! Whats the kerfuffle?

Polonium is a naturally occurring radioactive material that emits highly hazardous alpha (positively charged) particles. It is everywhere! In the soil, in the atmosphere, your breathing it as you read this!

Small traces are everywhere and unharmful. However, high doses are harmful to our body and organs. OR so they think...

Scrubbers, I have worked with Polonium in the the past. I was a top researcher in Russia, and yes, I have underworld contacts with the KGB. (read my article on foreign accent syndrome)


I experimented myself with Polonium. We used to use test tubes, large test tubes, to store this stuff. Well, one night, I was in the labs, and a little drunk. I was just dreaming of Nadia, my beautiful russian bodyguard, when my hormones got the better of me!

Those test tubes, they started to look rather attractive, and so aptly shaped, that I started to get naughty ideas. And soon enough, I had my own pants down, massaging my prostate with a test tube of polonium! Woweeee! What an experience!!!!! I was in radiactive heaven!

And yup, Scrubs, your prof is fit and healthy. Yes, I maybe infertile (at least I dont need a vasectomy), and my penis lost a centimetre in size (it was too big anyway!), but otherwise, i survived the polonium challenge!

However, one word of warning, I wouldnt go anywhere near me when I have a farting episode! My farts are deadly - literally!

Yours dangerously,
Prof Scrub

This entry was posted by Prof Scrub, on Wednesday, November 22, 2006. You can leave your response.