The Fantastic Letters Of Prof Scrub: Lets get phyical, not chemical

Lets get phyical, not chemical

Dear Sex offenders, paedophiles and all round nasty people,

You maybe delighted with the government's new announcement that they will be offering yourselves and those of your ilk the opportunity to voluntarily castrate yourself with medications. They say that some of you chaps are desperately struggling with whats going on in your lives and want help.

Well, let me be the first to say boo, hoo, hoo. I for one have no sympathy for your calibre of criminal. Until you can take away the permanency of the damage you have inflicted on those innocent victims, until you can take away their physical pain and psychological suffering, your punishment should also be permanent.

Voluntary chemical castration? I think you have the government wrapped around your small little penises. I as a retired surgeon, will be proposing a new form of treatment for your desperate attempt to improve your criminal urges and pathetic lives.

I have written to my MP, offering a cheaper and longer term option - a complete involuntary physical castration for all sex offenders. It will be an inexpensive and highly effective procedure. I propose to cut costs by not requiring an operating theatre nor any anaesthetic expertise. Certainly I would not waste any public money on antiseptic products or aseptic technique. As a gesture of goodwill, I will even waive my own enormous consultancy rates. All I will need is a table and my trusty knife.

This procedure not only serves as an effective punishment but also an effective treatment for your disease, thus killing two birds/balls with one simple cut.

I hope to obtain approval for this new service as soon as possible.

Your formerly retired surgeon,
Prof Scrub.

This entry was posted by Prof Scrub, on Wednesday, June 13, 2007. You can leave your response.

Bongi | 4:14 PM |

good laugh. thanks

savante | 6:24 AM |

And we'll do it under local anaesthesia I get it. :)

Voice of Reason | 12:27 AM |

Satisfying as this no-doubt-cathartic rant is there are a couple of rather obvious flaws to any student of writing or psychology.

First, I doubt anyone could graduate from an American medical school without passing English Composition in undergrad. Second, removing a violent criminal's balls will not render them harmless, just ball-less. As any surgeon–nay, any physician–would know a eunuch who is castrated after puberty is still functional and will not leave any semen (aka DNA evidence) behind during a rape. Third, in the rare instance that this procedure leaves them impotent a simple hormone patch fixes that. Third, giving a dangerous psychopath more reason to be angry is in no way a remedy for their personality!

Last, but not least, what if they're guilty of nothing more than stealing panties or flashing old women at the park or going nude on the beach or having sex with a 17 year old with their permission? Does that warrant violent emasculation?

What if they're INNOCENT?

What if they're a woman, forced hysterectomy?

I don't know what sanitorium our fair doctor has escaped from but I would suggest he go back to deal with his anger issues. Of course it doesn't matter, no proposal like this would get the attention of any sane legislator.

Anonymous | 4:40 AM |

This is for the "voice of reason", I hope you understand the length of pain these people cause others. "These people" I mean are the molesters, and rapists. Most of the time they just get a slap on the wrist for their horrific crimes.

I was molested from the age of 4until 17 years old by 7 different men. Out of all of them, the "worst" punishment they recieved was 2 years. And wow, what a punishment, three square meals, no job, and basically no worries.

I have to deal with this pain for the rest of my life, and they get to be free and probably go on with mostesting and raping more people. Then there's the ones that say "Oh, it's a disease, let's help them!" What is wrong with society?! It might be a mental disease, but that doesn't give them any right to get any pity from anyone.

If they know that they're sick, get help!

Anonymous | 10:17 PM |

Haha, free sex change :P

Try Me | 6:06 PM |

Man you need serious help. Dude no one has the right to cut someones nuts off other then them self. Thats his own man hood.

Anonymous | 8:04 PM |

This is just plain sick. You are saying that we should take away heir functionality. What if they are innocent? What if they really did change? You say they should suffer for the rest of their lives? Those who were victims, get help! I have a friend that was molested for a long time and now that she is getting help, she is getting better! If the victims get real help then they don't have to live with the pain.

Donny | 2:34 AM |

People with such extreme views on this issue scare me. I can't shake the feeling that you're hiding something and trying to cover it up by being so anti.

Bongi | 4:14 PM |
good laugh. thanks
savante | 6:24 AM |
And we'll do it under local anaesthesia I get it. :)
Voice of Reason | 12:27 AM |
Satisfying as this no-doubt-cathartic rant is there are a couple of rather obvious flaws to any student of writing or psychology.

First, I doubt anyone could graduate from an American medical school without passing English Composition in undergrad. Second, removing a violent criminal's balls will not render them harmless, just ball-less. As any surgeon–nay, any physician–would know a eunuch who is castrated after puberty is still functional and will not leave any semen (aka DNA evidence) behind during a rape. Third, in the rare instance that this procedure leaves them impotent a simple hormone patch fixes that. Third, giving a dangerous psychopath more reason to be angry is in no way a remedy for their personality!

Last, but not least, what if they're guilty of nothing more than stealing panties or flashing old women at the park or going nude on the beach or having sex with a 17 year old with their permission? Does that warrant violent emasculation?

What if they're INNOCENT?

What if they're a woman, forced hysterectomy?

I don't know what sanitorium our fair doctor has escaped from but I would suggest he go back to deal with his anger issues. Of course it doesn't matter, no proposal like this would get the attention of any sane legislator.
Anonymous | 4:40 AM |
This is for the "voice of reason", I hope you understand the length of pain these people cause others. "These people" I mean are the molesters, and rapists. Most of the time they just get a slap on the wrist for their horrific crimes.

I was molested from the age of 4until 17 years old by 7 different men. Out of all of them, the "worst" punishment they recieved was 2 years. And wow, what a punishment, three square meals, no job, and basically no worries.

I have to deal with this pain for the rest of my life, and they get to be free and probably go on with mostesting and raping more people. Then there's the ones that say "Oh, it's a disease, let's help them!" What is wrong with society?! It might be a mental disease, but that doesn't give them any right to get any pity from anyone.

If they know that they're sick, get help!
Anonymous | 10:17 PM |
Haha, free sex change :P
Try Me | 6:06 PM |
Man you need serious help. Dude no one has the right to cut someones nuts off other then them self. Thats his own man hood.
Anonymous | 8:04 PM |
This is just plain sick. You are saying that we should take away heir functionality. What if they are innocent? What if they really did change? You say they should suffer for the rest of their lives? Those who were victims, get help! I have a friend that was molested for a long time and now that she is getting help, she is getting better! If the victims get real help then they don't have to live with the pain.
Donny | 2:34 AM |
People with such extreme views on this issue scare me. I can't shake the feeling that you're hiding something and trying to cover it up by being so anti.