Supermarkets to host GP practices

Dear Tescos,

I am a little uneasy of this rumour I have heard that my local GP practice will be moving into my local supermarket.

Now, please do not misunderstand me, I have nothing against your firm or any of the other lesser supermarket (e.g. Asda) but the thought of my GP being present in the supermarket is rather worrying.

How will it work? Will I have to queue in aisle with my shopping whilst I wait for my haemorrhoids to be examined? How do I know if the fine woman behind me hasnt just had a cervical smear? Has that crying child in the aisle just been diagnosed with chicken pox or is it that he just wants a bag of maltesers?

What concerns me the most is the thought of my GP dressed in Tesco uniform. I am scared he may not know the diagnosis or the latest treatment. Will I suddenly hear over the loud speaker tannoy system:

"Can I have a medication check, what is the latest treatment for chlamydia?".

Embarassing to say the least. I hope Tescos and other supermarkets seriously consider this before hosting my local GP practice.

Your worried Prof,
Prof Scrub

MMcDonalds

Dear MMcDonalds,

I am writing a letter of complaint regarding the performance of your staff. I realise you have recently employed some highly qualified, well trained staff that (supposedly) all have a degree in medicine.

Although I commend this action and applaud your efforts in reducing the unemployment levels of junior doctors, it does result in a rather unsatisfactory service.

Many of your new staff will only serve me diet coke as they say my diabetes is poorly controlled. Others will not supply mayonaise for my Big Macs in a bid to reduce my calorie intake. And what may I ask are the low fat fries all about? I am tired of going into MMcDonalds for a happy meal only for your staff to say that my BMI is dangerously high.

If I wanted health care advice, I would browse the internet, thank you very much. I certainly would not register for a check up in the new fangled NHS.

So please MMcDonalds, I beg you, train your staff properly so I can enjoy my unhealthy meals without a guilt trip.

Your overweight professor,
Prof Scrub