Walmart MP3 player porn - order your copies now!

Dear Walmart,

I understand you are now stocking MP3 players at selective stores preloaded with porn. I think this is an exceptional idea and a great niche market. I am very excited by this gap in the market and would like to make a business proposal.

If you require an outlet or reseller in the UK, I am happy to take on this project. I am in contact with many students who would be thrilled by such a product and would pay competitive prices. I would be able to guarantee you a healthy profit and we could expand to other devices preloaded with porn. Computers, Cameras and even digital photo frames could be preloaded with buyer specific porn categories. We could make a fortune!

If however this business venture is not feasible currently, perhaps I could purchase just one of these preloaded mp3 players for personal use.

Do you ship to the UK?

Prof Scrub

Play Queen TV

Dear Ma'am,

Your Majesty, your Highness, your Sexy Excellence,

May I write to say how utterly overjoyed I am to learn of your new Royal YouTube Channel! Such prime and exclusive video footage of yourself is everything I could have ever hoped for. Your kind gesture of revealing your inner beauty and ravishing outer body to us devoted male followers is truly inspiring.

YouTube is certainly an excellent platform to launch your modeling and adult entertainment career and will certainly give you the exposure such a sexy woman like yourself deserves. This years Christmas speech will certainly be one of the most popular ever and I will definitely have a box of tissues ready for when the action starts!

Your Brilliance, may I also make one further request now that you have stimulated us to such extreme. Perhaps, if your YouTube channel is as successful as it deserves to be, you would consider expanding to a subscription only service for your more devoted fans. One in which we could view some more exclusive and behind the scenes footage of yourself, perhaps a little more revealing, a little more scintillating? This, I can assure you my Grace, will truly transform you from a Queen to a Goddess and allow you to become the global superstar you deserve to be.

Just a little more leg Ma'am, its all I crave.

Your royal worshipper,
Prof Scrub

I would certainly pay a subscription for more photos like these Ma'am.

Blair, join a cult!

Dear Tony,

May I congratulate you on your new found religion and may I hope you find peace, serenity and salvation in your new faith. The Catholic church is a fine church and I am sure you will make a devout and loyal follower.

However, I must express my deepest disappointment that you did not choose a religion or cult that would have not only made you happy but also bought peace into our world.

Mr Blair, although I admire your choice of religion, perhaps you should have chosen a cult that has a suicide pact. Surely the only path to true enlightenment is to enter a suicide pact with your fellow world leaders, thus ridding the world of all its evil.

Can you imagine the peace you would bring to the world if your cult and suicide mission included infamous world leaders such as yourself, your husband Mr Bush, Kim Jong-Il, Ahmadinejad, Mr Musharraf and ofcourse your good old friend Osama.

Mr Blair, there will be mass celebrations on Earth if you would join in such a pact with these fellows. Your religion would truly be exalted as the finest religion that ever existed. Indeed, your cult of political leaders could even chose their act of suicide - with any choice of weapons, whether it be chemical, biological or nuclear. We would all be very happy for your to look yourself in a room filled with cyclosarin! Or even a bomb onto your place of worship whilst you are performing your religious rituals.

I think Tony, you would agree, that you joining a suicide pact in a religious cult movement would not only bring you happiness and joy, but also the rest of the world. Please consider this as your one true chance to repent your evil sins and bring joy and harmony to mankind.

I shall look forward to your conversion to this cult with great anticipation,
Your good news angel,
Prof Scrub!